this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
