uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
