Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
