Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
