Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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