Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
