She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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