YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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