Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
