I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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