i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
