You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
