So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
