We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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