When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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