he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
