Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
