I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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