We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
