LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
