I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
