I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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