No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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