do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
