He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
