Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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