She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
