Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
this boner is exhausting
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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