Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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