After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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