honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is Oprah even human
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
