He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
