Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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