Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
where am i from again
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
