Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
