Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
