I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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