There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
