I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
