I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
