I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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