I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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