I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
