he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
