We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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