So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
