my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
