Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
