i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
operation have a gay friend backfired
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
