Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
