Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
