I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dignity is for republicans.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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